it's been so long

I feel that I should update this "live" journal. This is soooo~~ not live.
what's been happening in my life?
good question. I don't know.
question of the day: Do I like change?
Do I?
well, change is going to happen regardless if i like or not.
after i graduate, i almost guarantee that i'll never see any of my friends again.
do i mind that?
there are certain people who i've fallen out of touch with...
certain people.
do i miss them?
i seem to have given up on capitals.
if i were too leave canada tomorrow, who would i miss?
i don't think that i would miss anyone.
i'd probably just make new friends..."friends."
i should burn my memories.
i'm not being emo.
far from it.
i'm not being depressed either.
... i don't think.
life's scary.
i feel very alone.
even when i'm with people.
i'm egotistical.
everyone is.
everyone is also dying.
i'm such a conformist.
this is so spam.


something i stole from xin

how to play:
put song ipod/mp3 player/whatever you listen to on shuffle and press next for each.
let fate decide the rest...
that reminds me...
FATE xinny FATE!!

my life as a movie:
Opening Credits:------------Osaka Obachan rock-k8
sounds like my life's going to be a comedy^^

Waking Up:------------------- liang ji-richie
i assume it means that i don't want to wake up but i have to?

First Day At School: --------theme song of "triumph in the skies"-eason
hmm... i'm guess i'm going to have a pretty good day at school

Falling In Love: ------------- eden-k8
wow...that's...uh...interesting. The song’s about a break up and the guy wants to get back together.

Breaking Up:----------------- tong bang eu ttu hon-dbsk
...okay...someone’s very supportive of this break-up.

Prom:------------------------- a date so sweet-183 club
...good omen, but...my date's going to be et, qk, xz, wl, and friends, right?

Life's OK:---------------------??- bliss
hahaha! I suppose I get what I deserve...(the title basically means you get what you deserve...with a negative connotation)

Breakdown:------------------ get me some- dsbk 
sounds like i'm breaking down cause i can't get laid...

Driving:----------------------- my girl-dbsk
he "can't take his eyes off me" i guess that means i should drive...

Flashback:-------------------- 果テナキ空-k8
Nice and carefree^.^ probably looking back on fun and silly times.

Getting Back Together:----- once in a lifetime-shinhwa
that's so sweet...

Wedding:--------------------- wen bie(goodbye kiss)-jacky cheung(?!??!?!?!?)
is he going to leave me at the alter?!!
            of course not, if that's going to happen i'm leaving him.

Sex Scene:------------------- jiang nan-jjlin
            no comment

Birth of Child:---------------- you only love-dbsk
Yes, the child’s most important.

Final Battle:------------------theme song of "last breakthrough"-raymond lam

Death Scene:----------------beat traitor- the trax

Funeral Song:---------------- VOW(?!!!!!)-flame
the wedding and funeral songs are switched...

Dance Sequence:----------- oosaka romanesque 
nice song, but not easy to dance to

End Credits:-------------- balloon-dbsk
'kay, my life starts happy and ends happy...remembering childhood memories.

i think i'l give it a second try another day.
i'm not very satisfied with a few of the results.

wouldn't it be great if everything were either black or white, right or wrong, no in betweens?

 it's been a while since i've actually written an entry...
nothing really interesting happened.
you're right, i'm lying.
many things happened.
some interesting, and some not so.

big event #1:
_____ ran away from home.
she'll be going back in a few days after parent-teacher interviews, which is today . 
the day she didn't go home, her mom called me and i started to call everyone, trying to find her. i got _______'s # and when i called him, the police were at his place because her parents had called the cops. i was panicking by that time. i saw her today though.

big event #2:
______got drunk and passed out in a motel room full of guys two weeks ago, was throwing up in ___'s bed, who had her cousin pick her up. ___'s aunt walked into the room and saw the state______ was in and said "don't tell her mother"
but everyone else besides her mother seems to know. i'm have not part in this, barely even talk to her and i know. people who don't even know her seem to know what's happened and are talking about it, but i still don't know what they're saying. last week she was at a party the police raided. her mom was oddly nice about it.
i was supposed to tutor her little sister, but she hasn't contacted me for a while, i don't think that she actually wants to get tutored anyways.

big event #3:
charles, rachel, and jen went to sm auditions. rachel and charles say that charles did great, rachel messed up a bit, but still did well, while jen says the judges were racist and mean. hope charles got in...he should have, he's TALL.

big event #4:
...there is no big event 4...
does my mom thinking that i'm a lesbian count as a big event?
i borrowed "maurice" (which is the movie that i think you'd like, jess) i asked my mom what she thought about homosexual relationships and she started her whole gay-bashing speech, and then she asked me what i thought. i said i supported them. she asked me if i liked women, i said nothing. i was too pissed that she said all that stuff. let her think that i like women.

-i went to david's b-day party in sept, which involved going to the movies and then reza's afterwords. i called my mom told her where i'd be. she thinks reza's a girl.
i got back at 11 pm...with david driving

-i went to james's b-day bash and basically did nothing until 11 when i went home(david's car, but his mom driving)

-got freeman a pen that looked like lipstick and a t-shirt for his b-day.(bet he already lost the lipstick)

-learning/trying to learn korean from mimi in morning glory. they have the best pens.

that's the basic summary.
  • Current Music
    everything's still good (previous entry)

time to fess up...


sorry for not replying to, uh, everyone.

i don't have internet at home, so i go to the library for internet access.

...and i checked my email friday at school, but kept it quick  so that i wouldn't have to try and explain how this related to school.

so, the point of this babble is that i didn't spend the weekend crying in a corner because people critcized me. i asked for it and now i'm asking again.

my latest attempt at trying to sing:


i know, problems are still there. i seem to be incapable of holding notes in the chorus for the appropriate length, low notes kill me, but according to my computer, it was my 15th time recording and my mom was yellling at me to do the dishes.

can someone explain to me the concepts of "breathing properly" and "singing from the diaphragm"? i know it would help if i could get those two things.

can't remember if someone had offered, but could someone get me the sheet music for LOVE IN SNOW ? i changed some of the notes, but it would still REALLY help, because there are a few places where i have no clue where i'm going.

and in case anyone's interested, here are the lyrics i wrote(they really don't correspond to the japanese lyrics at all):

Title: ...love in snow (?)

還 記 得 第 一 次 看 見 了 你
天 空 飄 滿 了 片 片 白 雪 

現 在 對 著 這 可 愛 的 臉

不 知 怎 麼 跟 你 開 口 告 別

對 不 起   我 真 的 不 想 離 開 你

可 是 我 即 將 離 開 這 世 界

抱 緊 我   不 要 方 開 我

讓 我 再 次 感 受 你 溫 暖

在 我 離 開 時   不 要 哭 泣

我 不 愿 看 見 你   不 悅 的 臉

請 你 答 應 我   好 好 活 著 

希 望 在 雪 中   看 見 你 的 笑 容

你 和 我 在 白 雪 相 遇

這 是 我 們 的 愛 情 故 事

可 是 每 個 故 事 都 有 結 局

故 事 結 束 了 以 後 還 有 美 好 回

那 是 冷 冷 雪 花 帶 者 的 溫 暖

在 我 離 開 時   不 要 哭 泣

我 不 愿 看 見 你   不 悅 的 臉

請 你 答 應 我   好 好 活 著 

希 望 在 雪 中   看 見 你 的 笑 容

你 和 我 在 白 雪 相 遇

這 是 我 們 的 愛 情 故 事

可 是 每 個 故 事 都 有 結 局

故 事 結 束 了 以 後 還 有 美 好 回

那 是 冷 冷 雪 花 帶 者 的 溫 暖

你 和 我 在 白 雪 相 遇

這 是 我 們 的 愛 情 故 事

可 是 每 個 故 事 都 有 結 局

故 事 結 束 了 以 後 還 有 美 好 回

那 是 冷 冷 雪 花 帶 者 的 溫 暖

I'll send my love with white snow

那 是 冷 冷 雪 花 帶 者 的 溫 暖

could someone also direct me to where i can get the korean(not romanized) lyrics of Steal Away by Park Ji Yoon? i want to sing that for my second song.

yes...well...time for my confession. i wasn't really going to go audition, i was just joking around, saying that i'll go to make my friend look good. i was telling my mom this, and she said that i could go if i was serious. thus, i became "serious" because i haven't been to toronto in ages.

i know for a fact that i won't get in. i don't have that kind of talent, i'm just average. though people who are many times worse than me are famous (not pointing any fingers), of course, they have connections.

anyways, people who do have talent will go, and i'll sing to make them seem that much better.

and i wasn't serious about meeting DBSK, i just put that so that the post was relevent on the dbsg community. i prefer to keep my distance and fantasize that hey're perfect in every way.

...BUT i, myself, want to get better at singing, so i await your constructive criticism...again.


i'm going to audition for smTown

that's what i'm going to do.
hopefully, i'll be able to convince my mom to drive jess too, and convince jess's parents to let her come.
anyways, here is what I'm going to assult the judges with the judges are going to hear:


please critisize freely.

i mean it.

i'm giving you permission to be as brutal as possible.

but try to keep it constructive.

i DO want to get in.

i can't do that if my ego's non-existent.

the original song is Love In Snow by Ueda Tatsuya from JE
         ...in case you didn't know.

and i wrote the chinese lyrics (so proud~~)

but i'm not a native mandarin speaker, so please inform me of grammar/pronunciation mistakes.
  • Current Music
    steal away-park ji yoon

going home tomorrow...

this summer was fun.

vietnam was great. extremely hot, but fun.

hong kong was...delicious... hk has good food.
...also lots of good music (*yay*~~)

just finished packing...it was hard...too much stuff...

jess...your book isn't in the BEST condition...don't kill me...

i think i might try to kill rui when i get back...

...but then again, who could possibly do any violence towards rui?

i really suck at keeping this journal "live"... i comment on other posts though.

...i want to see dragon tiger gate and love @ first note...

dragon tiger gate's an action movie w/ shawn, nicolas, and donnie. fight scenes are definitely gonna be good, but i'm not too sure how the plot's gonna be...(should check reviews...)...no clue what's it about.

love @ first note's a romantic comedy w/ alex, kary, justin, and special appearances from stephy, theresa, and miki...and others... from what i can tell, kary and justin are friends, kary starts going out with alex, alex turns out to be an ass, they break up. kary ends up w/ justin.

my fav part is their con. when they decide to get married:

j:so how many kids are we gonna have?

k:we're not having kids.

j:then what kind of protection are we gonna use?

k:we're not gonna use protection.

j:sweet! really?

k:we're not gonna have sex.

j:then what's the point of getting married?

k:to give you an excuse to love me for the rest of your life.

i also like the little speech that alex gives when he gets dumped:

so leave! *a girl dies, she's still here*(forgive the bad translation) look at how good looking i am. you think i can't find a bite to eat?

...it's funnier in cantonese.

i had so many things to say before...now i can't remember anything...damn my goldfish memory...

eh...that's it.


(no subject)

my mp3 player broke...
got a new one. went to ladies street.
went to sino centre.
got k8 + f4 pics for other ppl.
and some news + kattun for myself.
wrote eng lyrics for kakigoori last night...
woke up this morning and laughed my head off when i reread what i wrote.
trying to figure out how to make polls...

(no subject)

in hk.
not much to say.
watched some dramas btw.
'twas on youtube, so didn't have to pay.
how long can i keep rhyming this way?
saw 127 day.
there was a comment saying they were gay.
keep quiet if you have nothing nice to say.
gonna go now, 'kay?

lj didn't work last time...

blah, time passes quickly, i'll be leaving for hk tomorrow. it's been fun...i'm going to miss everyone here...there;s one thing that i won't miss though... viet traffic -________-"

faqs about how to drive in vietnam:

q:see on coming lights that belong to cars and other motorcycles?
a:drive straight ahead.

q:want to turn?
a:check on coming traffic, but take no heed, drive straight ahead anyways.

q:feel like stopping in the middle of a VERY busy street?
a:go ahead.

q:red light?
a:don't even bother slowing down if you don't feel like it.

i'm quite glad that my cousins won't be driving me anywhere for a while.